My body and mind are still on West Coast time. Consequently, I can't fucking sleep.

The first three days of this upcoming school week might suck in terms of workload. I have a capstone poster draft due Monday that looks rather daunting, PLUS feedback for other poster drafts, plus our megazord megalord paper for my comics class.
I'm hoping I can get it all done and space it out in a way that doesn't make me crazy.
It's important to me to consistently write decent-to-good papers, even when they're last-minute, but it's REALLY important to me to accurately represent Chelsea's dissertational aims and expectations. I don't want to half-ass a presentation based on work I genuinely respect, research assistant or not.

Tuesday, I have this wine type scavenger hunt of sorts to turn in -- and a paper on a wine region I haven't yet selected or studied or tasted from.

Wednesday, I have to PRESENT that capstone poster. Nervous.

Life, writ large, though? Well. If I separate from the philosophical ambiguity and guilt pangs that plague my psyche at any given moment...on a practical and functional level, things are quite good. I have a grad program to strive toward that seems fulfilling in so many ways. I have enjoyable classes and rewarding work in the present. I have a boyfriend who supports, adores, and provides for me, well-knowing my flaws and neuroses -- who actually wants to be with and around me with such things included. Sex. I am TECHNICALLY employed, even if I'm not regularly reaping the benefits of that term. I've spent the last few days with family I love, appreciate, and ultimately admire. I've learned a lot about my dad: who he is, where he's from, and what he's about. HE has a new job. I've spent the last week and a half going somewhere DIFFERENT, seeing something NEW. Several somewheres! Many somethings! Even someones!

The general rule of thumb is: so long as I stay stimulated, it's...not...bad.

Three more weeks of school, and I can focus on nothing but grad applications (and parents and James) until January. Whoo-ha.

God, we're disgusting. (:

I have not been this physically uncomfortable in a long time.

sinus infection, probable UTI, waking up every two hours, maximum, due to probable UTI

and to encapsulate all of my stress: WEIRD, DEPRESSING DREAMS

DOES NOT WANT

I have this recurring one where my family started out with three daughters. Laurg's still around, so we're remembering the death of the third, together...
goddammit cannot handle all this with grad applications, too.

James has been wonderful about me being such a mess. Supportive, affectionate, just bought me a lot of over-the-counter screening devices and symptom relief pills, took me out for brunch this afternoon.
Sigh. That poor boy.

Welp. Time to go read Watchmen.

Edit: pretty much my favorite parting words of all time...

James has just pulled up to the curb and holds a plastic bag out of the window. After we chat a little, he says,
- Well, I'm gonna go home and finally do some homework for once. Also I bought a book! Whips out a box of DONKEY KONG-THEMED JENGA.
- Delighted. Yeah, I'm gonna go...pee on some stuff. Thanks so much!
James squints at me and drives away.

Puffs via canned air work better than squirts via spray bottles for positive punishment.